1+1= 50

[jayene]

Dear customer X,

Enclosed is a book of basic arithmetic. Please feel free to make use of it. If you find the concept of addition and subtraction to difficult I suggest a calculator. You will be surprised at the handy things it can help you with. For example, you have approximately 9,000 dollars of available credit and your orders $9100's then you either need to reduce your orders so you have more credit or give us more money. Whining, cursing or begging is not going to help. I am not in accounting. Dropping the F- bomb 50 times amuses me, and still changes nothing.
Also please note when we tell you that an order is not being released that means it's not shipping. And if it is a 4 day travel route to get it to you then you can wait or eat the $1200 in expedited freight. Because guess what it is not MY fault you don't pay your bills. Also please note that when we say"we will release when we get the check," sending your truck to the warehouse at 7 am means they will be sitting around... a lot.
No love
the 'Nise

Comments

[petronivs.livejournal.com]

Did you actually count the number of times he dropped the F-bomb? That would be entertaining.

[jayene.livejournal.com]

it was off stage so to speak.... at least 5 or 6. Not to me... I would have calmly told him he was being abusive and asked if he wanted to speak to a manager. But in the backround he kept yelling "we're f-ed" and the like.

[petronivs.livejournal.com]

Wow. It sounds like he's an extremely passionate individual. Was he a small business owner? I've noticed they tend to be very, um, passionate about their trials and tribulations.

[jayene.livejournal.com]

smallish in the scheme of things... and... well disorganized is putting it politely. And this is from the mutable fire chaos gal....

[petronivs.livejournal.com]

I've yet to see a small business owner who was very organized for very long.

A Mathmatical Pimp Slap

[bigscottyk.livejournal.com]

Just tell them that you got the connections. That you know a math teacher who owes you a favor. Tell them one phone call and you can have someone come and put a math hurt'n on their "no basic math skills" having accounting butts. Cuz I be packing some heat, some interger heat that is. Once Im done with them, they will think they got hit by a train, a trig train. Oh yeah, boyee. The Math-Master is in the house.

Re: A Mathmatical Pimp Slap

[jayene.livejournal.com]

that was almost as frightening as their lack of addition skills