Trouble by Catten

As some of you know, I have two Big black kitten- cat combinations hereafter known as cattens by the name of Blair and Max. Max had been sneezy and lethargic for about 3 days so it was decided he should see the vet. I made a virtue of nessesity and took both cats with me under the assumption that what one has the other will probably get. Before we could get there I needed a carrier. We don't have a big apartment and I was facing the prospect of taking them to the vet alone so I decided to get lighter weight duffle type carriers. It took three different pet stores to find them but eventually I came home armed with two multi entry blue cat carriers. I set them up and proceeded to begin wrestling large hairy black cats into the carriers. I attempted to load Blair into a carrier under the assumption he will be the worst and get worst over with first. Blair proceeded to prove that there was no way his seventeen pound frame was going in the carrier without being knocked out first. I gave up and managed to load the more docile and sick Max into his carrier and only acquired a few new scratches.
Then I chased Blair down and began the wrestling match. Ten minutes later minus some of his hair and my blood I was ready to go. I grabbed my coat and purse and the carriers and loaded the car. Max went to the back-seat and I buckled the carrier in. Blair got the front seat, again buckled in and I set off on my 5 mile journey to the vet accompanied my the cats whining, in perfect thirds, their frustration.
About halfway towards the vet in the left lane of a 4 way street I notice Blair has stopped mewling. I look over at my passenger seat and see bright blue carrier and black kitty head poking up from the top of the carrier. I attempted to poke his head back into the carrier driving one handed and frantically looking for a side street to pull off onto. Blair resists my efforts to bodily shove him back in the bag (no pun intended) and crawled the rest of the way out and proceeded to walk over and collapse in my lap.
I got us onto a court and pulled over and spent a few minutes trying to soothe both cats. Blair has latched his claws into my jeans. I calm him down and get the carrier opened again and attempt to move catten from lap to carrier. Catten resists, climbing the passenger seat, hopping in the back seat and latching onto every surface when I try to pick him up. More hair is lost more blood is shed, and but this time my beige seats are beginning to look black. Blair goes in the carrier and I attempt to secure the top zippers by looping the connecting cord through the shoulder strap. I start driving the protesting cattens towards the vets. Blair has gone quiet again. Out of the corner of my eye I see his head poking through again! The cord between the zippers is pulled taunt and Blair looks like he is close to strangling himself but he forces all seventeen pounds out of the carrier and back into my lap panting. I gave up and drove the rest of the way clunking him on the head every time I turned the wheel, his claws firmly locked in my Levi's.
When I got to the vet I abandoned the coat and tucked Blair up in one arm, the purse on my shoulder and Max's carrier dangling from my free hand. The double doors confounded me for a while but eventually all cats were safely inside the vets office. As soon as the collie puppy has cleared the waiting area I was able to release my death grip on Blair (he was bigger then the puppy!). Of course he decided to explore. One of the vet techs helped me weigh them and hurried us into the examining room.
A long story short they are now both on diets, antibiotics, and they had their shots updated. Besides one brief jaunt to the ceiling scrapping cabinets by Max both were well behaved until it came time to get them back in their carriers. Max went grudgingly Blair shed more blood. And promptly escaped and hid under the bench. I gave up and left him there while I paid and loaded Max. Blair spent the trip home crouched on my lap and refusing to look out the windows.